Criminal

Naranasan mo na ba mapagbintangan? Yung wala ka naming ginagawa pero pinagduduhadahan ka pa rin? Ganun na ba ko kasama? Na parang lagi akong may balak sa kalokohan sa katawan…buti nga yung kriminal may pag-asang magkaron ng trial sa korte. E ako? Hinuhusgahan kaagad.

Finally

Finally, finally, finally, alam ko na yung gusto ko. Wala ng atrasan to! Woohoo sarap magmahal! Hahaha

Bakit Ganun?

Bakit ganun ang mga babae? hay...........................................................

Huli

Haha …katawa to, huling-huli!

Tito: labas lang ako ah, sama ko si kaloi, may bagong bukas na videokehan.

Tita: sige, wag kayo paumaga ha!

Sa videokehan…

Tito: bawal ka magtable, ako lang hehe

Kaloi: opo tito

Tito: gaganda ng mga babae ditto, puro maputi

Nung tumagal…

Kaloi: tito, uwi na ko, iinom pa pala ko ng gamot!

Tito: ge ingat ka (habang may kahalikan) haha

Sa bahay…

Tita: tito mo?

Kaloi: ginanahan pagkanta tita eh

Pinsan: ma, sundan natin si papa, gusto ko din kumanta!

Kaloi: wag na, gabi na eh, akyat na ko tita

Sumunod pala sila hehe (sa videokehan) sumunod ako uli kasi alam kong mahuhuli sya haha

Tita: aba’y anung klaseng videokehan to, madilim! Kahit imulat ko mata ko, wala ko makita! Nasan ang TV? At bakit tahimik?

Pinsan: tara na mama, uwi na tayo

Tita: hindi! (flashlight) hoy lalake, bakit nakahiga ka jan sa lapag?!

Tito: ah eh, napagod kasi yung kasama ko sa pagkanta kaya inaya ko humiga muna para magpahinga…

Tita: ganito ba kayo kumanta dito? Nakadapa? Tapos itong si Isot, nakahubo kumanta? (hahaha tawa ako ng tawa)

Pinsan: ma, tara na, una na tayo, sa bahay na kayo mag-usap ni papa

Tita: sumunod kang mabilis, lintek kang babaero ka!

THE END

Videoke

Nag-videoke kami kagabi, sinama ako ni tito. Haha kakaiba mga usong kanta dito! Ang kinakanta madalas ng mga tao dito ay “laklak” at “larawang kupas” hahaha paulit-ulit lang, yun at yun lang ang kinakanta nila haha. Wala lang hehe

Gimme A Good Distraction

I really need to keep myself busy from thinking about what bothers me. At the end of each day I’d sulk. If I were another person, I'd feel heartbroken over watching me desperately trying to sleep.In a way, I'm not as affected as I thought I would be, meaning if you didn't know what was going on in my life, you'd never know that I had a problem. Err…package deal, physical and emotional, sometimes I think personality problem adds to that. Because I look normal around people, I act normal. But that's just it -- an act.Some people think I'm being pessimistic but those who knows me real well thinks that I’m strong. I don't think so. I'm making myself numb instead of facing the pain. Nobody wants to feel pain naturally. Distraction dulls the pain. Maybe it can heal. Or make me forget. I really don't know. One thing I realized (only a few days ago) was that I've been numb longer than I thought I was. True, it made me a kinder and more understanding person but it also killed a part of me. After that, I became more jaded than ever and I never got past it. It changed the way I looked at everything that came my way.There are so many things I want for myself in terms of my direction in life. And now, more than ever, it's within reach. It just makes me sad that the one thing I wanted so bad a few years back, is something I am avoiding now because I don't want to just settle for what's there, I don’t know how to deal with it. I want the best. But it was long gone before I even got there.Give me a good distraction for the meantime.

Rotten

Have you ever felt so rotten that you actually start feeling physically bad? After feeling listless the entire afternoon, I developed a slight fever in the evening and fell asleep.

At least I felt a little better today.

Killer Asthma

Asthma is killing me. Damn, my attacks are so often. Things seem to be a big disappointment today while catching my breath very fast because of this stupid illness. Last night and this morning was absolutely wonderful but something totally unrelated to these dragged my spirits down.

My own feeling-blank therapy

When I’m feeling blank, this is what I normally do:

1. Having Wild World playing on repeat
2. While lying down and staring at the ceiling
3. Thinking…what to do next

That's what I'll do after this. I hope the weather gets gloomy, that'll put me in a better mood for sure.

Exodus

The anxiety that comes with leaving something you've gotten used to and trading it for something new is starting to sink in. I'm starting to become scared of leaving behind what I've sacrificed a lot before, nervous because I’m off with what I was used to. Although sacrificing has turned into something very bitter for me, I never thought that moving on would be difficult. I know I'm doing what's right for me and I just have to continue to keep telling myself that.

Exodus

The anxiety that comes with leaving something you've gotten used to and trading it for something new is starting to sink in. I'm starting to become scared of leaving behind what I've sacrificed a lot before, nervous because I’m off with what I was used to. Although sacrificing has turned into something very bitter for me, I never thought that moving on would be difficult. I know I'm doing what's right for me and I just have to continue to keep telling myself that.

Raining Hard

I love the rainy season. It puts me in a good mood. Makes me want to stay in bed and read. It also reminds me of so many good things. Hehe

Funny

i've been "talking" (well, sort of) to someone for the past few days. it's weird. she's not really someone who i used to think of before, but lately, i'd find myself remembering her out of the blue in the middle of the day. i'm actually thinking of her right now. i find it funny, actually.

LOVE beyond

Ever since I thought I was a mind-over-heart person, who is took premeditated jeopardy, when the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. But rationality and logic clash when it comes to the mind rattling and emotion-confusion thing called love. I can say that my head is just secondary to the heart when I make decisions of this matter. But no matter what other romantics say about it, still love is a ruthless reality that ends my every story sulking. NOW, I’ve realized that the head should always be the one heard first. I succeeded in letting my heart smashed me more than seven times before. My luck ended at seven.

And so I asked GOD for someone to love me. Barely knew its meaning probably because of the taste of sacrifice and hurt before. I was ready to use my head but I woke up one day, using my heart again. Damn stupid heart! Few people came to give the love I’ve longed for, the love I asked GOD for. Have I been too nice? Why did they come in groups? Until now, I don’t know why they all came at the same time. I’ve been considering answers but it always drop me to commotion. Who among these people is the one I’ve asked for?

Somehow it makes me think that have I been a menace in their lives? Do they experience what I have experienced in the past? Have I been hurting these people the way I was hurt before? The last thing I would do is to hurt other people. Am I too numb to be loved or too numb to love? Whatever it is, I really don’t know, my heart takes over and makes me do things to express what I really feel. That every word I utter and every feeling I show is true.

I don’t want to pretend that I’m okay, hell no! I’m ill and my mind is raveling elsewhere. I feel like my illness is prolonging my agony. If my life would be taken, take it now, why do I need to experience this pain? It’s more sickening because a tank of air is the thing that is keeping me alive! Euthanasia would be great but since it’s a sin, okay I’ll accept my fate. Now I’m wondering, if my life would end at an instant, why would GOD send me these people? If I’ll be gone in few days, why would HE let me feel loved like this? GOD is too good. HE has plans. Probably HE still wants me to live. You think so?
Now for my lucky seven, no regrets here, only appreciation and love. Thank you for the wonderful times. No words could describe how happy you made me just by being there and by letting me think that I am secured. Thank you for allowing me to get to know you and letting me touch your life. And most of all, thank you for caring for me. I hope you find true love and happiness.
To be continued…

100 things about me

1. My friends call me Carlos, Kaloi, CJ.
2. I was born on December 18, 1984 (that makes me 20)
3. I believe in Astrology
4. I get along mostly with Scorpios and Tauruses.
5. I have 7 sisters (one is in law).
6. And two brothers.
7. I am a computer-person
8. I love kids!
9. I am reading two books as of the moment.
10. I love the rain.
11. I love dressing up for the rain.
12. I hate being cold.
13. I get cold easily
14. I am addicted to coffee.
15. I want my coffee strong.
16. I like Starbucks' coffee beans
17. I’d go for Old Manila Coffee (or Mister Donut's)
18. I’ve never tried drugs
19. I have 1 piercings (tongue)
20. I rarely wear gel
21. And I hate the smell of gel
22. I think rock songs are the best
23. I’m going to be a doctor
24. Love chilis
25. I do believe in magic
26. I believe in God, I don't really believe in religion
27. I am listening to Michael Bolton now
28. I love to sleep. I fall asleep any where, any time.
29. I usually remember my dreams
30. I'm trying to learn how to interpret them
31. I am an evening person.
32. I like the feeling of numbness
33. I love the beach
34. I also love mountain-climbing
35. Well, ok, I love the outdoors
36. But I hate camping (did that make sense?)
37. I hang out with my friends at least once a month.
38. I love to sing. I sing whenever it is quiet.
39. I listen to practically everything!
40. Playing the violin has always been my frustration
41. I am impatient (and impulsive)
42. I got addicted to Game Boy before
43. Fireworks still amaze me. It brings out the kid in me,
44. A lot of people say I look Chinese.
45. I am. haha
46. Cockroaches scare the hell out of me
47. So do clowns
48. You can take me anywhere, and I won’t complain.
49. Well, ok, except Divisoria.
50. I am up for almost anything new and adventurous.
51. I like going to new places.
52. I like the movie City of Angels (a lot of people hated its ending, but I think it was perfect)
53. I believe that most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be
54. I believe in love
55. I have been in love
56. A lot of simple things still amaze me
57. I don’t believe in fortune-telling.
58. Women who are simple and has a mind of their own is a turn on
59. I mean, is very likable
60. My hair is starting to get too short haha
61. I sure hope that it grows soon
62. My first board game was I don’t remember
63. Computer game would be Mario
64. Most people of my age do
65. I used to play badminton more than once a week
66. but the doctor asked me to stop
67. I hate nuts (peanut, cashew, pistachio, almonds)
68. I watch formula one when I get to.
69. I’m starting to getting tired of talking about myself
70. I like the taste of red horse
71. This song is playing in my head right now
72. I can sing the alphabet backwards (honest!)
73. I broke my ankle last summer
74. I’m done with college
75. I should be studying again haha
76. I can only study when there is complete silence
77. I should definitely improve my study habits!
78. I forgive people easily
79. I still go to toy stores sometimes just to look at hotwheels
80. I hate the smell of tequila
81. I do not sleep for days when something’s bothering me.
82. It takes a lot for me to trust someone
83. But when I do, I trust completely
84. I mean what I say and I will believe whatever what you tell (so be careful)
85. I ran over a kitten once (accidentally)
86. I get colds almost every month
87. Of all the places in Metro Manila, it’s along QC circle scares me the most when I’m driving. Every one just keeps on swerving and taking up your lane.
88. Quezon Ave comes in second
89. I tell really corny jokes
90. I love to laugh
91. I laugh at almost every thing
92. I love to smile too
93. You can talk to me about anything.
94. When you want something from me, ask for it.
95. If there’s something wrong, tell me
96. I hate it when people treat me like a baby just because I’m ill.
97. Or when they treat me harsh because of self pity hehe
98. I don’t like pushy people
99. The more pushy you get, the more I’ll resist
100. I am not exactly a nice guy. I can be super sweet one minute and hella harsh by the next. (Whew! Finally! I am so glad this is over!)