I'm 21

It’s my birthday today! Hehe pero hindi happy birthday eh kasi I’m alone. I tend to think a lot. Na-eexercise ang neuro-cells ko. Hehe what am I going to do today? Nothing perhaps. Ang sama ng loob ko. Sobrang nasasaktan ako. I’m trying to be jolly because of this day, na I could have celebrated with the people close to my heart. Sometimes, I think na naging bad ako kasi bakit ako pinarurusahan sa birthday ko. I know mas bad na isipin na “kala nyong mga kayong nananakit sa kin, sasaya din ako pag malayo na sa inyo” But right now I can’t express it. I may have lost my senses in terms of expression. Binigay ko na yung kamay ko, pero gusto pa nya kunin yung buong braso. I just can’t give it.

Isolated, feeling so tired of this damn life. Pressure sa bahay, sa work, sa friends, sa lovelife. I just can’t seem to understand why is this happening to me. But despite of it, syempre, I haven’t lost faith in God. Kasi sa lahat naman, Sya ang di talaga nang-iiwan sakin. As I look at the bright side of it, dapat nga mas maging matuwa ako kasi mas naging close ako sa Kanya these days.

I just can’t feel na Christmas na. Di ko maramdaman yung joy ng season na to. Kasi naman di na ko bata hehe Now I can say that Christmas is just for kids. Kasi wala pa silang problems. Unlike us, unlike me, na maraming complication sa buhay. Bigat ng dibdib ko talaga…