Confessions

These Unexpected Children of Mine

Now

I'm hurt and damn hurt still...

Pasko!

Whoa Christmas! Saya ng Pasko ko! Kahit na nakakapagod kahit na maraming tampuhan ang nangyari, ang ending masaya pa din. Nakapagpahinga din ako sa wakas! Takaw takaw ko kahapon. Kain ako ng kain ng kung ano ano kaya hindi na ko nakakain ng totoong kain. Hehe Yung mga dating-dati ko pang friends nung high school, nagtext nangangamusta! Basta ang merry ng Christmas ko!

Pasko!

Whoa Christmas! Saya ng Pasko ko! Kahit na nakakapagod kahit na maraming tampuhan ang nangyari, ang ending masaya pa din. Nakapagpahinga din ako sa wakas! Takaw takaw ko kahapon. Kain ako ng kain ng kung ano ano kaya hindi na ko nakakain ng totoong kain. Hehe Yung mga dating-dati ko pang friends nung high school, nagtext nangangamusta! Basta ang merry ng Christmas ko!

huhuhuhu

hirap na hirap na ko huhuhuhuhu

I'm hurt

huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhhuhuhuhuhhuhhhuhuhuhuhuhu

ayoko ng ganitong life!!!

ang sakit sakit!

I'm 21

It’s my birthday today! Hehe pero hindi happy birthday eh kasi I’m alone. I tend to think a lot. Na-eexercise ang neuro-cells ko. Hehe what am I going to do today? Nothing perhaps. Ang sama ng loob ko. Sobrang nasasaktan ako. I’m trying to be jolly because of this day, na I could have celebrated with the people close to my heart. Sometimes, I think na naging bad ako kasi bakit ako pinarurusahan sa birthday ko. I know mas bad na isipin na “kala nyong mga kayong nananakit sa kin, sasaya din ako pag malayo na sa inyo” But right now I can’t express it. I may have lost my senses in terms of expression. Binigay ko na yung kamay ko, pero gusto pa nya kunin yung buong braso. I just can’t give it.

Isolated, feeling so tired of this damn life. Pressure sa bahay, sa work, sa friends, sa lovelife. I just can’t seem to understand why is this happening to me. But despite of it, syempre, I haven’t lost faith in God. Kasi sa lahat naman, Sya ang di talaga nang-iiwan sakin. As I look at the bright side of it, dapat nga mas maging matuwa ako kasi mas naging close ako sa Kanya these days.

I just can’t feel na Christmas na. Di ko maramdaman yung joy ng season na to. Kasi naman di na ko bata hehe Now I can say that Christmas is just for kids. Kasi wala pa silang problems. Unlike us, unlike me, na maraming complication sa buhay. Bigat ng dibdib ko talaga…

Pasko

Ayoko na muna magmahal. I’ve worked so hard na kahit papano sana sumaya naman ang lovelife ko. Di talaga pwede eh maraming complications talaga. Ganun ata ang kapalaran ko…maging sad ang lovelife tuwing pasko.

Yey!

Walang pasok bukas yehey!

Now

My life now is far more complicated than my thesis or my final zoology exams. I can’t figure out what I really want to do with my time. I want to study. I do. But I can’t decide what course to take. I like to take IT and management and psychology. Hehe There’s a lot of things in this world that I wanted to know. And to complicate it a little bit, I don’t know how am I be able to get money to support my studies. My mom is not getting any younger. My uncle has done his part to support my college. And my dad, my dad, my last hope is no where to be found. That’s why I’m saving my money to support my studies. That would mean, little time for gimmicks, less time for dates, and cut down my expenses. Somehow, I get a feel of fear that I might get a girl pregnant and I might lose all the dreams that I’m confused about right now. Somehow I still track of my plans in life. I’m not tired of believing that one day, everything will turn out the way I want it. But did I mention? Sabik ako sa baby. Sometimes I wake up in the morning, thinking that I have my angel beside me. Ang gulo ko ba kausap? Oo nga, naguguluhan na din ako sa sarili ko e. hehe

Damn

Today is really a damn day.